“But at least you’re doing what you love…”

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This might sound strange but I’ve pretty much always felt somewhat uncomfortable with regard to the concept of ‘doing what you love and being paid money for it’. It seems to me that it is one of the most used excuses to stick to a decaying societal system instead of daring to look above it and through it and to envision freedom in all its might and glory.

I’ve been troubled many times by my own incapacity to adapt or accept this concept as something even remotely close to anything resembling the truth. The temptation to relativise everything, especially the truth, seems to be so overwhelming nowadays that it almost seems like there can be no possible certainty attributed to anything.

I have given it much thought and I have spent much time observing and trying to comprehend the mechanisms which are in place that make people so comfortably numb about their existences – this ‘doing what you love and being paid for it’ seems like such an insurmountable fact that I’m tempted to feel slightly brave for thinking that it might actually not be such a good idea.

I’ve chewed on my own shortcomings for a while, trying to dissect my inner thoughts, working on undressing my passions and releasing the fears that have covered my every attempt to attempt everything. Only to discover that my shortcomings were anything but short , while my fears were not even my own.

I oppose the idea that ‘doing what you love and getting paid for it’ is a good thing. I believe it is a radical approach since in all honesty, everything around me seems to gravitate around money, the impervious need to produce it in order to survive in society, the alternative being of course that of going into the woods and living a primitive life.

I have never managed to acquire any satisfaction from a limited availability of alternatives. The ‘black or white’ approach never seemed enough for me while the grey never really interested me since I always felt that there’s so many colours in the colour spectrum. I fail to understand how we came to design and fix our minds in frameworks of white, black and grey, while everything around us is looking more like merging rainbows of renewable hues of truth.

The idea that you can only be happy if you are doing what you love seems to have been perverted into – ‘you can only be happy if you are doing what you love and being paid for it’.

It is of course only natural that there is contentment and peace to be found, where one exercises his or her will and desires freely – I only ask myself what role does money have in all of this and is it not just a means of corrupting the freedom of your existence, as you framed it and constructed it to be.

I can just hear so many people angrily defending their positions, their ‘choice’ to work the work they love and to love the work they work.

Just to be clear, I am in no way accusing the ones that ‘love their work’, but merely challenging my own perception of the matter, trying to observe it from different sides and at the end of the day, simply trying to provide myself with answers for the never-ending occurrence of ‘why’s?’ that have always permeated my brain.

It might seem that maybe I’m doubting as to whether you can still love your work if you need to do it in order to survive. And that would not be very far from the truth. But my point is not to convince anyone that they actually don’t love what they’re doing, but rather to question if we wouldn’t all love what we’re doing even more, if we weren’t engaged so much in a cancerous money-making existence.

My theory is that, whatever you are doing, if you are doing it with the purpose of making money, even if that purpose is an outside force of nature and not an inner desire, it will still never be a fully fledged love that which you will feel as a result of doing it. That is not necessarily to say that there is someone at fault here – my issues, my struggle, the pain of all the contradictions in my head, come not from your statements of love for what you do or from doubting you, it comes from doubting the importance and relevance of money in our intellectual and spiritual evolution.

It seems to me like such a great capitalist trick, getting everyone convinced that as long as they are producing money doing what they love, then that’s OK, it’s acceptable, it’s actually even something to be praised, something to be proud of, something to aim for. As opposed to working a random, meaningless job, a frustration generator used to provide the financial means for an existence within society. On that note, I would just like to say a gentle ‘Fuck Society’.

I cannot help but see a segregation within illusions, I cannot help but feel at awe with how we’ve managed to create yet another something which separates us instead of uniting us.

For some reason, we are now living in an era in which doing what you love for money is good, while doing whatever else for money is bad. Both of these have clear attributes assigned to them and it’s as clear as daylight that the purpose of being is that of doing what you like, provided that you are also able to sustain yourself from doing it.

I am revolted by this glitch in the matrix, by this intruder, by this manufactured truth.

I am curious as to why it is not more obvious to more people that we have a big problem if we’ve been so fooled into thinking that the only way we can be free and happy is if we are working a job we love, being paid fairly for it and thus being able to sustain our existence and further work in order to do so and so on and so forth. If this is not the greatest scam ever, then I do not know what is.

I cannot help but ask WHY are we in need of money in order to sustain our existence. Maybe you’re going to say that it’s a choice, that there’s no one actually forcing us to do anything, but in all honesty and trying to be as much as possible in touch with reality, can it really be just a matter of choice?

If we don’t choose to be born, not to mention in which context and to whom, how can it be expected of us to assume responsibility for so many things we had no real say in.

I’ve heard people saying that palestinians have the choice to leave, there’s no one forcing them to stay and be tortured and mistreated ….Is that the kind of choices you have in mind? The kind of choices the refugees have had to make, when fleeing their bombarded homes, only to find themselves drowning in the sea of ignorance and superficiality who’s flow seems to have encumbered us all, in all our quest and support for the power of choice?

***to be continued

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