#bikeshapedheart

the wheels of my heart
get flat tires
almost every single morning

sometimes i try to breathe life
into them
instead of air
to help them carry me
through
another day of mourning

other times there’s nothing to be done

and while they lay deflated
like plastic-filled whales
on plastic-filled shores
you come out of nowhere
and fill them up with
an almost indistinguishable feeling
of blue remorse

that’s usually more than enough
to fill them up
but sometimes, just sometimes
the tires of my heart’s wheels
are so full of your scent
that it’s simply too much to handle
too much to take in
and all they can do
is blow themselves up

the scratched frame
the rusty chain
the crumbs and leftovers
of rummaged pain
the oiled brakes
the dusty pedals
the protective metals
they all collectively applaud
the explosion
and out of nowhere a relative truth
is spoken:

“You can’t be ridden, heart!
Your only purpose is to be broken!”

 

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#oneday

one day
a song played
by a legion of train rails
went straight through my chest

like a lightning
its melody nailed my breath
to a wall
breeding unrest

its piercing flow made
my ribs give birth
to a bouquet of cactus flowers
blossoming fiercely

and thorns grew wildly
from my soul
drilling wounds
large enough to allow it to sprout
wings made of gold and snow

one day
the fog holding my thoughts
jailed
dissipated

its thick drops of fear and confusion
fading through the sewers of my
gray matter
started sweating

its pathetic illusion
dripping and draining
insinuated new flavours
to living and fighting
forgiving myself
and
forgetting

one day
the streams of my eyes
changed paths

flowing inwardly
they burned their bridges
and told me:

“the future is now
the present is past
all that has happened is already gone
always is almost never forever
so dare
to live on.”

#asortafairytale

sometimes sunrises have
the consistency
of grapefruits
the sun, soft and sour
peeling through the skins of the sky

closing chapters
barely remembered
shapeshifting
i float
through a dream
in which i m not afraid to
crumble
or to let the tender space
between my thoughts
grow into a maddening scream

the shadow of a man
with sharp iron crystals
growing out his face
both frightening and appeasing
tells me stories using the language
of waves

she says that
maybe death looks like
the image of a black and white
television
closing
the visuals reduced to a dot
sucked in by a black hole
a speck of dust
pulverized into the unknown

he trembles and lovingly curses
my soul

eagles start growing from my arms
snakes drag their wisdom
through my weary bones
pulsating eardrums surround me
all the while
one last full moon
cracks in two
and my spirit dissolves

#thatmorning

i forgot
to wake up my body
that morning
some butterfly wings
held it nailed
to a coffin of dreams

voices of children
screamed from the drain
that morning
and the air was
smelling of disappointed rain
and tears

stubborn questions
were still hanging
right under my thirsty nostrils
that morning
and the passing of time
left trails of bliss

a gigantic eye
watched me closely
that morning
from under the shop window sills
the relativity of existence
embraced me and my longing
and despite the blue skies
i still felt one with my fears

a summer’s whisper
came out of the trees
that morning
taking my eyes for a dance
with their branches and leaves

while i quietly sipped my sweet venom
that morning
realizing that only
in the afterglow
i’ve felt something
remotely resembling
freedom and peace

#soaked

a storm is coming
an obscure foaming abyss

billions of golden grains
slithering
right beneath
my cracked lips

thunder and lightning
kissing and colliding
in a mysterious suggestion
of bliss

drops of heat
smoothly exploding
under the surface
of my itching skin

chance encounters
afterglowing
from the glitter
within

grapes of rapture
purple and sour
gliding
down my throat

all of them visions
rising
from a sea of jellyfish
love

#mydearestroot

your whiteness
makes my soul implode
reminds me that time
is this thing
that passes

regardless of whether
i wait
or not

your distant
milky eyes
having seen so much
remind me of how much I’ve missed
and of how little I’ve touched

your focused energy
plummeting
reminds me still of how much of my life
I’ve spent
mourning something i have not yet lost

my dearest root

i’ve cried years of tears
at the sheer thought that one day
you’ll just rot
leaving me rootless
distraught
to contemplate all that
i have not managed to learn
from your wisdom
and everything that i won’t ever be taught

my dearest root

it’s times like these
that the sand in my bones
tells stories
about all the moments i haven’t cherished
and all the memories
i’ve already forgot

my dearest root

i’ve never told you this
but

i love
you

with
all
my
heart

#thismorning

did you hear
the dolphins calling

this morning

did the seagulls already
announce my demise

did the opaqueness
carry you further from me

did you even think to look
through the glass of my eyes

were your eyelids
sticky with thirst

this morning

were you feeling tired
as if you’ve been dreamed about

were you fighting to
remember forgetting something

were you suddenly quiet
or were you swiftly blind

have i blinked since hearing
the ocean’s roar

this morning

have i sipped the venom
of my own longing

have i cried a bucket of sea-salt
have i drowned a few times in the dirt

have i tried redefining the purpose of clouds
and did they tell you

how much i hurt?